From February, 2005
March 15, 2007
I have friends who are serving in the military right now. MoBear is due back in April. I have friends who have returned from service - TheCoast got back in November. And I’ve lost a friend in the war, too:
Adam didn’t make it back.I don’t hate the troops. I hate their mission(s). Maybe it’s selfish. I dunno. But I have friends who have served and survived, friends who are serving now, and friends who have paid that ultimate price. Do I hate the choices that they have made? The sacrifices that they have paid? No.
To be consistent, I can’t do that. It’s the intention of their honor that I evaluate. I, myself, only having become what I consider enlightened at the ripe old age of 25 or 26, I cannot possibly fault my brethren for the decisions they made at an even younger, and hopefully dumber, point in their lives.
Do I wish that they didn’t have to do whatever they’re obliged to do, for us me? Of course I do. But hindsight is 20/20. We can always talk about what might’ve been; what should’ve been. What, if anything, could I change? Well, I’d hope that my “enlightenment” might’ve come at an earlier date, that perhaps I could’ve influenced the decisions that my friends made. But I can’t change any of that now, and I can’t judge the substance of their character on the basis of such variables. Had I the opportunity(s), I’d have voiced my opinions. I’d have tried my damndest.
Does this change anything? Adam is still buried, his wife still widowed. I gain nothing from desecrating the mission towards which he gave his life. Is it inconsistent of me, to weigh this price, not against its costs, but against its sought ends? Perhaps. But I can’t fault good men, for making bad decisions, that I likely would’ve made, given the circumstances. I was one family member away from enlisting after 9/11 - an uncle lives and works very close to ground zero.
Did I consider it? I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t. In hindsight, I can justify my stance, because of what I know now. The problem is, that I didn’t know that much then. So, perhaps a fortune of circumstance. But I don’t see it that way. When TheCoast was over there, and even now, when MoBear is over there, I wish that I could do something to protect them - they’re my friends, after all, and I want to protect them.
Problem is: it’s too late to protect them from the greatest danger to their lives - the State.
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I tried to join the Reserves in 2000 but my asthma kept me out. One weekend a month seemed like a really good deal back then. My friend was cursed with perfect health and is serving his National Guard commitment in Bagdad.
I look back and can’t believe how hawkish and naive I was back then.
My 19-year-old brother just finished Marine boot camp. He’s going through another training now, then in April he finds out where he’ll be stationed. He’s naive enough to believe it might be somewhere other than Iraq. He’s also naive enough to hope it is Iraq. That’s why he joined.
I only hope he lives long enough to find the wisdom to understand his simple view that glorifies war.