A Baseball = Income

August 9, 2007

…As defined, apparently, by the fucking thieves at the Internal Revenu Service:

Even if he does not sell the ball, [Matt] Murphy [who caught Barry Bonds' record-breaking 756th homerun ball] would still owe the taxes based on a reasonable estimate of its value, according to John Barrie, a tax lawyer with Bryan Cave LLP in New York. Capital gains taxes also could be levied in the future as the ball gains value, he said.

This would probably be a bad time to mention the various sports memorabilia of meager value, which I possess, lest Barry Sanders make an Odyssean return to the NFL only to shatter even more records. But a baseball is not income, and no reasonable person could ever come to such an asinine conclusion. Only the bastards at the IRS could even make the argument with a straight face. It would almost be funny if it weren’t true.

What will happen? Well, if he’s forced to pay “income tax” on the baseball that he essentially found, he’ll probably be forced to sell the ball - unless he has $150k socked away in the bank, with which he’s willing to part for the keepsake of a stupid horsehide. The choice between { -$150,000 + 1 baseball arguably worth $500,000 } and { $350,000 } is anything but a marginal one, especially if you don’t have $150k in the bank. Now, if they want to call it capital gains, that’s arguably less bad than trying to pretend that a baseball is income. At least he wouldn’t have to cough up any money unless he decided to sell it.

But I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t have the money, and that furthermore, even if he did, he’d rather not piss it away just to keep something he essentially already owns. Instead, some asshat with half a million dollars that has already been taxed will pay him for the ball, and he’ll give his slice to the stationary bandit, and walk off quite a bit wealthier - except for the fact that he’s been forced to sell an heirloom, a one-of-a-kind collectible, simply because he was unlucky enough to come out of the scrum with it in his hand.

If you’re listenting, IRS, that doesn’t get you off the hook. There are plenty of reasonable arguments against taxes on capital gains, too. Like this one.


Posted in: Taxation is Theft

Comments

2 Comments so far

  1. Dan Z August 9, 2007 5:41 pm

    You have to love the fact that the government in its infinite wisdom sees fit to tax the potential profit from a meaningless item. On top of the fact that if he sells it he is only going to get 51% of the money as he promised his friend who took him to the game 49% of any proceeds.

  2. …no third solution » Blog Archive » Tax Law Forces Sale of Collectible August 22, 2007 3:55 pm

    [...] who was (un)lucky enough to catch Barry Bonds’ record-breaking home-run ball, which I first mentioned two weeks ago: “It wasn’t hard. It was simple math. I’m upset by the decision I [...]

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