It’s not just the American Right that hates France: Apparently, the British do, too. According to a recent survey, the French are the “rudest and most boring” nation. OK, I get it. “France is a miserable country because it’s populated by Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France,” or so claimed Samuel Clemens. Seriously, the whole Metro system in Paris emits a constant stale fart smell. But its the best way to get around town quickly. Their food is awesome, however, with many regional variations and specialties, and the girls in the south of France rival those of just about anywhere in the world. NB – I’m an admitted francophile, so I’m perhaps a little biased.

But there is a silver lining: The British are unequivocally average in every way. That is, unless you’ve ever encounted a British “Stag-party” while vacationing in Europe. I know Americans have the reputation of being obnoxious, but the Limeys take the cake in the “alcohol-induced-total-boorishness” category, hands down. They also score big in the “girls-who-pretend-to-be-interested- in-you-until-they-find-out-you-don’t-have-any-Ecstasy” category.

The survey also concludes that Americans have no sense of style and lousy cuisine. Well, what? You mean, cookie-cutter “Australio-Gaelic-Tex-Mex” restaurants on every corner (think: Texas Roadhouse, Bennigans, Fridays, Outback, ad nauseum) doesn’t qualify as haut-cuisine? And innumerable cookie-cutter tweens boutiques (American Eagle, Abercrombie, Hollister, Aeropostale, Gap, Banana Republic) aren’t universally en vogue? Tennis-shoes and khakis is not a good look?

Well, this is all news to me.