“Person of the Year”.  It sounds so awesome. So noteworthy.

The name of this distinction seems that it might carry some worth, honorees previously included notables like Martin Luther King Jr. and Lech Walesa and Ghandi… but on closer inspection the distinction has been granted to war criminals like Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and Henry Kissinger, and the two most recent recipients (Obama and Ben Bernanke) are even more of an abortion than Zuckerberg so I probably shouldn’t complain too much.

But I will, anyways.

I don’t wanna say that this distinction is “overdue” for Zuckerberg, because that would imply that he deserved such recognition at some point in time and I don’t think he did. But in any event, relative to the contributions to improve the plight of humanity (made by millions of other mortal earthlings), Zuckerberg is a practical nobody.

Seriously, Time Magazine… There was nobody else in the world more worthy of the distinction “Person of the Year”?

If Bernanke’s nomination last year didn’t fill you with rage, and if there was any doubt in your mind that Time Magazine is completely and totally irrelevant, this should erase that doubt.

Aside from creating the most widely used social media sharing site which connects friends allows advertisers to subtly but more accurately target the herd in order to push more mass-marketed shit down their throats while continually gutting whatever vestiges of personal privacy control its users once knew, just what in the hell has he done other than Facebook which would warrant such recognition?

I guess he donated a bunch of his ill-gotten gains to prop up another failing public school district.

Kudos, you fucking idiot. Kudos.