When banks get caught stealing from you, they get trillion dollar bailouts. If you get caught stealing from a bank, you’ll probably end up in prison like Patricia Keezer, a former branch manager at Citizens Bank (FKA Republic Bank) in Manchester, Michigan. Keezer, who claims to have given the money to needy clients, was recently convicted of embezzling approximately $340,000.

[S]he would give people $2,000 at a time for car repairs, mortgage payments and taxes. She commonly reversed bounced-check charges and other fees.

At least by deed, she appears to have borrowed from the legendary Robin Hood, who famosuly stole from the rich in order to give to the poor.  It’s possible that she squirreled the money away into an offshore bank account somewhere, and concocted the Robin Hood story in order to take advantage of whatever sense of decency and compassion remains in those public officials who go by the title of “Honorable” or “District Attorney”.

But there’s no evidence suggesting that she spent the money on herself, and one would presume that forensic accountants would be able to determine whether she siphoned the money into a secret account somewhere; I know that the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, but in this case, I’d say it’s far more likely that she did simply steal from the bank in order to help out some less-well-to-do folks.

The parallels with Robin Hood unfortunately end with the similarity of deed, since Keezer expresses remorse for her actions: something that my childhood version of Robin Hood—protector of the impoverished, champion of the poor and oppressed—wouldn’t dare.