The Customer is Always Right, Except…

October 17, 2006

…for when copyright law says he can’t be right. Even though he’s right.

Last night I went to Target and bought myself a CD. I also picked one up Justin Timberlake’s new one for my girlfriend. This morning, I tried to exchange hers, despite the fact that it had been opened. This is what happened: I bought the edited version by mistake. I made this clear to the Target employees. There was nothing they could do to appease me. Thanks, copyright law. [ here is my argument against copyright laws ]

I did not claim to have accidentally purchased “Justified” and try to exchange it for “Futuresex.”
I did not claim to have accidentally purchased Poison’s “Greatest Hits” and try to exchange it for “Futuresex.”

No, what I did was unknowingly and unintentionally purchase the edited version of Futuresex. Had I considered the possibility that a former Mouseketeer would need an edited version, I would’ve been on the lookout for it. But I didn’t see a stack of Futuresex with “Parental Advisory” labels on it, and the copy that I bought only says “edited” in one spot, in about 6 point font. All I wanted to do was exchange my “edited” version for the unedited version.

This would not be possible.

I understand the point of the law, and I understand that regardless of the existing copyright law, the retail policy would probably still prevail. And the point of that policy is to prevent me from buying an album, ripping it to my hard drive, and returning it the next day for something else. But even in light of this, it should be clear that I am right and the law is wrong. The store employee told me that there wasn’t a “right or wrong” in this circumstance, whereupon I reframed the situation: “If it were up to you - no copyright violation fines - what would you do?”

He’d let me exchange it.

I was told that under current copyright law, Target cannot exchange an opened CD for anything but the exact same item. Fruitlessly, I tried to inform them that “But it is the exact same CD - only the one I meant to buy has the “F” word in it.” Apparently that doesn’t count. This is clearly a case of a knowledge problem. Somewhere, some short-sighted legislator crafted a copyright law that he thought covered all the necessary bases. These laws can never account for every possible eventuality.

Of course, it didn’t. He wouldn’t have imagined that somewhere, someday, a legal adult would accidentally purchase an edited version of an album, and wish to exchange it for the real version. But the politicos, who are always on the lookout for the kids - what if this went the other way? What if I had been buying the album for a niece, and had accidentally picked up the explicit content? No dice.

Now, the retailer is in a very unique position - he doesn’t give a shit. The retailer has absolutely no incentive to care about the plight of its customers in such circumstances, which are probably rare, but they happen nonetheless. The money has already been spent, the merchandise has been moved, and somewhere profit has been calculated. The retailer has assumed no risk in the transaction.

Caveat Emptor…

Well, there’s always BitTorrent.


Posted in: Potpourri

Comments

2 Comments so far

  1. KipEsquire October 17, 2006 12:07 pm

    If you had bought a jar of peanut butter, opened it and realized that — gasp! — it was chunky rather than the creamy that you had intended to purchase, would you be indignant that the store would not let you return it?

  2. doinkicarus October 17, 2006 12:23 pm

    There are some qualitative differences between PB and a CD, but I won’t go into that. Not every CD has an “explicit” and an “edited” version. If I were looking for a Wu-Tang album, I’d be on the watch for “edited,” but it’s not an expectation I had for JT. Additionally, like tuna fish (which comes in oil, or in water) peanut butter is clearly labeled as chunky or smooth - the CD was labeled, but not conspicuously - it is an easy (and honest) mistake to make, and one towards which both employees were sympathetic.

    My indignation is directed toward the copyright law, not the store’s policy, which they undoubtedly would’ve bent were it not for the threat of a $10,000 fine.

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